Stop Struggling with Negative Limiting Beliefs

woman with a shadow image

Have you ever stopped to consider how beliefs are formed? Sure, some things are scientifically proven with supporting empirical evidence, but that's not what I'm referring to. I'm talking about beliefs that are not backed by evidence or fact. In cases like this, often it is the repetition of a statement that influences our belief and tendency to treat information as as fact, not fiction. When we hear a statement over and over again, that repetition influences us to the extent that we no longer question its validity. This is how beliefs are born. It's dangerous and can lead to a lot of misinformation and misplaced impact and authority.

Advertisers and marketing execs know this and use it to great effect. Brand loyalty is built on the perceptions we hold based on claims that have been made. It's the power of repetition: hear something often enough and it gets stuck in our heads. Think about that catchy tune you can't get out of your head which plays on a continuous loop. Think of the everyday household products you use. Has the brand of tissue that claims to be the softest ever been proven to be the softest? What about paper towels? Is there evidence that the brand that claims to be the strongest really is? Which toothpaste is the most whitening? We've each made a choice about what brand we're going to buy, and we're likely going to continue to buy it. We've become accustomed, it's familiar, it's known, and it feels like a safe bet - you know what you're getting.

How does this apply to the negative, limiting beliefs we have about ourselves? If we're exposed to a judgement, criticism, or negative opinion about ourselves, we may end up believing it long term. This can happen if we simply accept it as true and replay that thought repeatedly. We give it endless airtime in our minds and we come to believe it. I've worked with multiple clients who was treated poorly as children. Some were simply neglected - mom and dad didn't have time for them. Some were verbally abused and berated. Others suffered physical abuse or experienced a loved one being abused. In each case, they came to believe that they were "not good enough", or deserved that poor treatment. In every case, they had to learn and believe they were and are worthy of love, respect, and kindness.

You may be wondering how this happened. In some cases they received the negative messaging repeatedly, but in most cases they continued to repeat the negative message to themselves. It got stuck in their head, their little child brain didn't question the validity of the information, and the message was put into replay on a continuous loop. The thought was adopted and it became a belief. From that time forward, they saw themselves through the lens of that belief (and likely other negative beliefs grew out of it). But the good news is that as adults, we get to look at and question the nexus of our beliefs, then determine if they are serving us. Yes, doing this type of work is challenging, but if you've been nurturing negative seeds of belief since your childhood, they've likely already caused limitations and lack in your life. Sometimes it takes just a little bit more courage than you think you have to embark on this journey, but it's well worth it. Getting to the point where you finally feel ready to look deeply at what is truly there is a gift that you give yourself.

Unearthing the negative seeds of belief that we planted in childhood is essential to powerful forward momentum. My coaching clients are encouraged to take the steps to examine them and begin reframing the lens through which they see themselves. They do this work with my guidance, support, and care. This is a challenging process, so find a trusted therapist or coach for support in navigating these waters with you.

As always, I’m here to help,

Lourdes

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